Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it was like eating out sand paper
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
