My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
