32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
