Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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