i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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