Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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