clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
