Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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