i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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