You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
