if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
