Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
