You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
