dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
