I will die if light touches me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
