I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
