I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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