is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We are two peas in an std pod
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
