I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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