On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
