I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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