fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
