We need to rekindle our bromance
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
nutella sex= disaster
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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