I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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