Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
