Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize