no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
