...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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