so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
