Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize