david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
