saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize