He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
