Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
