I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
