No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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