a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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