Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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