That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
