Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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