but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
