I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
