his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
