Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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