I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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