thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
