I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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