I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
