"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How external is "for external use only"?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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