we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
