You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
