Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
