I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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