During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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