i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just gift wrapped bread.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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