Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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